How to Make Cock Cakes

How to Make Cock Cakes


>>Is this a pimp cape? I was gonna like do,
Nigella boob, but I’m not really blessed
in that area, so this would have to do. [LAUGH] [MUSIC] How-to Make Cock Cakes
with Candice Brown. [LAUGH] Hi guys,
my name is Candice. I have a little cake thing called
cake by candie. I’m a newish mom. My daughter is six
months old and you can have fun and
make really great, fattening, sweet treats
for people who don’t give a shit about
being on a diet. People would say that
I’ve lived a lot of lives, I had a really
popular sex blog before my daughter was born,
I was also a madam of sorts, for
a period of time I ran an escort agency, but
now I’m a mom, not that, that’s like boring but
it’s just not the same. Today, we are making my personal
best seller which is like bachelorette
hen night cupcakes. So it’s just
a simple cupcake, vanilla frosting and
then we’re gonna make a fondant
dick to go on top. The first thing
you want to do is preheat the oven
to about 180. I’m gonna say about
a lot because I don’t really
follow rules. So we’ve got flour,
butter, eggs. Butter, you’re gonna need
about eight ounces and it should always be equal
sugar to equal butter. I want each of
my cakes to look like
a beautiful tranny. I’m very into tranny,
by the way, look at my face, there’s
a lot going on here. You want the sugar and
the butter to combine until it
looks quite fluffy. The next thing we’re
gonna add is the eggs. Now, any like fucking
Martha Stewart book is gonna tell you add
the eggs one by one. I don’t have time for
that. I’ve got
a six-month-old kid. Don’t do all that one by
one shit, just lob in, I promise you, it will
seem to curdle, but once you add your flour in, it
will even everything out. Unlike real dicks, these cakes cannot be
beaten too hard, so do not fear, beat away. [SOUND] The mixture’s
actually curdled. Like I already said, I’m not too worried about
this because I’m about to add what I consider
the Viagra of the cake world which
is self-raising flour, about 10 to 12 ounces
is where you wanna be. [SOUND] Now, this is
the point where all you fatties can just
lick this shit off. And then you’re gonna get
this into the muffin case like so. [MUSIC] We’re gonna put these
in the oven for about 18 to 20 minutes. You want them a more
light to golden tan, think more J.Lo,
less Jennifer Hudson in skin tone once they
come out of the oven. Now, we’re gonna get on
with the messier part of this production, which is
making your buttercream. One part butter to
two part icing sugar. Do you know what? I will go as far to
say this part, you can buy this shit ready
made at the supermarket, you do not have to go
through all of this. [SOUND] Now guys, we are going to make
the fondant wellies. I know the excitement,
I can’t bear it. Remember at school you
had like, Play Doh or plasticine that you can
built stuff out off, this is the sugar
version, so this is totally edible. I’ve already
pre-colored mine. I’ve tried [LAUGH] to do like white
man willy pink. [LAUGH] I don’t know
if I succeeded, but you get the point. As this is my
best seller, I’m usually
doing this for hen nights of
white women. So sometimes I might
throw a black dick in there just for fun,
but I usually stick to flesh tones to show that
like I’m on their level. I’m not trying to
intimidate anyone, this is not like anaconda
season or anything. That’s not true,
actually, that is not I have met some white
guys who are packing. But to make the actual
penis, we want like a cylinder cone because
it’s flattened, we’re not making these erect,
that would be gross and hard to swallow,
one would assume. Take a tiny piece and
leave that on top. Take your knife or whatever you’re using at
home, and just score, like so. Now, the last thing, you’ve got to add a vein,
because what you don’t want to happen is that
for it to look fake. No one’s penis
is perfect and if you think yours is, we already have
a problem, my dear. And voila, a fondant
penis, totally edible, and much safer than
snacking on the real one, I can assure you. [MUSIC] So good, like so good. Actually, fuck
what I said, don’t use store bought,
this is so much better. [LAUGH] You’re going to
need a piping bag and just like slather it on,
and then squeeze all
the way down. A bit like you would
if you were, you know? [LAUGH] I’m
actually gonna join a convent after this,
I swear to you, an actual [LAUGH] Now, just move
around, and then just finish out the top with
a gentle star-shaped. There are a lot of balls,
there are silver balls, there are gold balls,
there are sprinkles, and my favorite thing which
is edible glitter. Now I’m actually
looking at this penis. It looks too big for
these, but sometimes a penis is too
big, what can you do? We’re still gonna try and
make it work. Place it on the top
of the cake, and just shove the ball on. So, there you have it, that is the way to
make a penis cupcake. And, in my opinion, you can use this
in many ways, for a hen night, a girl’s
night in, a gay night in, those are my favorite
nights in, by the way. Or even if your uncle
found out he’s got testicular cancer,
this is a way to make life fun,
make it interesting and most importantly,
make it sweet. [MUSIC]

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  1. shiiit really thirty thousand hits , i love youtube the more whack it is the more hits. Shows people just wana have a laugh. i just hope my mamma aint makin cock cakes on the web hahahahhh

  2. I made a cheese cake with a drawn penis on top, spewing semen and everything for a girls night 🙂 A friend was introducing sex toys and asked me to create a cake fitting for the theme. Nice video! But I wouldn't make the penises so large or there will be too much sugar to eat and eating the cupcake wouldn't be the best experience(well, like some penises, but still…).

  3. It's not called a penis, it called: heatseeking moisture missile. Anything over 12 inches long it's called a bunker buster!

  4. I just found you on youtube right now and I am laughing so hard while I am watching your video that you have no idea! 😀 A very creative idea 🙂

  5. I love her! Hey guys you earn a new subscriber. Came here after Matt video making that fuccen make me hungry cheeseburger 😂

  6. as awesome as the finished cupcake looks, there is no way I can imagine anyone enjoying that much fondant at once. Fondant isn't even palatable in small doses.

  7. Hey doll stumbled on your channel love it!!! It's actually 2:12 am here in Miami I should be sleeping but I legit just shared this link with all my mains your too much too real and perfection much love

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