Cinemas : Then Vs Now | Ashish Chanchlani

Cinemas : Then Vs Now | Ashish Chanchlani


Hey! Start the movie! Hey! Did your mom run away
with another man? Start the movie! Hey! Start the movie! Hey! Hey! Oh, Hrithik, my man! Tiger! Great shot…
– Hey! Why are you shouting? Keep your feet down.
Keep your feet down! I said, keep your feet down! Don’t disturb the decorum
of the multiplex. Decoration?
– Shut up! Why are you behaving like
a rowdy hooligan? Hulk Hogan. I like. Hulk Hogan, nice.
– Shut the *** up! Stupid people.
– I didn’t understand you… …but you did scare me.
– Shut the *** up! Man, your arm…
– Shut up! Shut up! Let me watch the movie.
Do not disturb. Man, your arm…
– Shut up! Your arm…
– Shut up! Your arm…
– Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Come on! Come on! Go! Oh my God! Oh my God!
My favorite, Hrithik Roshan! Oh my God! Oh my God!
My favorite, Tiger Shroff! Oh my God! Oh my God!
My favorite, Chunky Pandey! Hold on, sir.
Let me record for Snapchat. Hold on, sir.
Let me record for Instagram. Hold on, sir. Let me record for Netflix.
Hold on a minute. Hello, guys! Watching War
with this ‘gawar’ (illiterate). Get off me! Watch the movie, for a change. I’m watching the movie. And I’m showing the world
that I’m watching it. Sir, you had recorded
Joker for Instagram, right? Had you recorded the title? Send it to me.
I’ll add it to my story too. Although, I didn’t understand… …but you need to show it
off to the world, right? #JokehaiPhoenixIsTheBest. Get some ‘vada pao”! Cold drinks! Kebabs! Wafers! You won’t get popcorn,
but everything else! Come get your
‘vada paos” from here! How dare you? Who will pay for it? Keep it! Get lost! Useless man! Give me two ‘paos” with
two ‘vadas’. – Yes, sir. Okay.
– Give extra chutney. And give me two cold drinks… …and your kebabs.
– My kebabs? The kebabs down there! You want my kebabs down there. These kebabs kept right here! Then say that you want
fake kebabs, sir! I thought you wanted to lick
on the real kebab! Here you go! Here’s your money. Keep the change. There is no change left
to keep in this! You have bought stuff
worth Rs. 20! Rs. 20?! Rs. 20! 50 paise for the pao’,
50 for the flour… …potatoes are
as good as free… …and this chutney that you
make at home for free. What should I pay you for? This is only going to
spoil my stomach! How dare you ask money for that? My wife beats me up
because of the rising prices! Everywhere I go,
I have to spend money! I don’t have money to eat
because of you! Sir, it’s Fame’s theater, not mine!
– I will starve now! Hey, man! Hello, sir.
Welcome to Climax Cinema. Climax Cinema welcomes you, sir. Yeah…
– We welcome you to Climax Cinema. How many times will you greet…
– It’s a pleasure for Climax… …Cinemas to welcome you
here, sir. How can I help you, sir? Do one thing,
give me two large tubs. Three large cold drinks.
French fries. One serving of potato wedges.
One large pizza. Okay, sir.
– How much? Oh, God, sir! The computer hung
while calculating your total. Work, man! Sir, your… …total is… …22… No, sir. 24,000. ‘Oh, God!’ Without GST. You’ll be charged 18% GST. No! No, sorry! 50% GST. Why 50%?
That’s what happens here. Has this man lost his
mind or something? Your total amount comes up to… …36,000, with discounts. ‘Oh, God!’ I know, sir,
that hearing these prices… …really scared you. Let me help you. Welcome, sir. Welcome to Popcorn Loan Scheme.
Tell me, sir… …should I get you a three
year loan? – Three years! You will have to pay
Rs. 1,000 per month… …for three years and I’ll
give you your items immediately. Rs. 1,000, per month! Sir, we also have
a mutual funds scheme, sir. Mutual… Sir, what you have to do is,
just pay Rs. 100 for now. Other 359 people will
also pay Rs. 100. And the items will be equally
distributed amongst everyone. So, sir, for Rs. 100
you’ll get… …two popcorn kernels,
two sips cold drinks… …one piece of french fry… …and potato… No,
you won’t get potato wedges, sir. I’ll just give you salt, sir.
You can lick it. Sir, we also give insurance!
– Insurance? Sir, imagine that you’re
walking with your popcorn. And you drop it by mistake. Then your 36,000
will be wasted, sir. Look a guy is carrying popcorn
over there, sir. If he drops his popcorn… Look, the poor fella dropped his
popcorn. He didn’t have insurance. Waste, sir! Sir, look how much the poor
fella has lost, sir. Got it, sir?
Insurance is also important, sir. Sir, he’s not with me. So, what have you decided, sir?
Mutual funds or a loan? I don’t want anything. I’m going.
– Sir, take it! I don’t want the ticket
and movie as well. I’m going.
– Sir, I’ll give it to you. I’m running away!
– Sir! Sir, parking… Pay the parking charges
of Rs. 10,000! Security, catch that scoundrel. Man, I’m really hungry. Oh, I also have the snake. Silly slither-er
gets in everywhere! Snake! Snake! Snake! Hey, get back! Show me your bag. Look at the ticket first.
– Later, show me the bag first. What’s this? A book?
Are you going to write a script? Not allowed in, sir. It’s not cold inside.
It’s very hot. Take it out. It’s not allowed. What’s this you have? What will you do with it?
It’s not allowed. What’s this? Napkin… It’s not allowed. It hurts…
– Why? …the guy sitting next to you.
It’s not allowed. Oh! Were you going to play-pause
the movie? – But… – Shut up! It’s not allowed!
– What is allowed then? Am I allowed in there or not?
– Watch… What time is the show? Nine.
– You know the time, right? Good. Watches aren’t allowed.
– What? What will you do with it?
It’s not allowed. How can you do this? Tiffin?! What do you want? Do you not want these poor
canteen people to earn? What… – Do you now
want me to pay the EMI… …for my Mercedes? Don’t you want my children
to play PS5? – What? But, you… – Don’t you want
me to spend money in a bar? Sorry, man! I won’t…
Sorry, man! Sorry, man. Okay, I won’t keep it.
– You… I won’t keep it. Distribute
it amongst the poor. – Hey! Come here! Yeah! I’ll check you with
my hands today! Hey, w-what are you doing?
No! No! Please! Belts are not allowed, sir. Not at all. Now I’ll check you
with a machine. Stop it, man. Why are you torturing me? Bomb squad!
– Man, I have a rod in my leg! I broke my leg in an accident.
That’s what’s ringing. Sir, rods are not allowed inside.
– What do I do then? You can go in.
– Can I now? – Wait a second. Okay. Hey, man! Get out of the way
or he will kill me! Sir, running is not allowed! Stop crying. I have a baby here. His mom is not
here, that’s why… I can’t even give him milk. Stop crying for a while. He always cries
at the wrong time. Silly fella starts
crying everywhere. Silly man, shouldn’t raise
kids if they don’t know how to. What will happen now?
– I don’t know. W-what will happen now? I’ve seen as much of the movie
as you have. Sleep. Come on. Sleepy, sleepy! Don’t you have any shame? Why bring a crying
baby to the theater? I get one weekend
to watch a movie… …and a child is crying
over here too. How can the child not cry
with parents like you? What made you think of
bring the child here? The movie’s name is War! Hrithik and Tiger
are fighting in it! Not Chhota Bheem and Raju! You will be cursed
by Goddess Durga. I will be the one
cursing you instead! Even I will have four kids… …make them cry
and ruin your movie! Understood? Wasted my darn time! Scoundrels! Sir, please stop your child
from crying. He’s a child! What more would
he do if not cry? Stupid man! Get out of
here if you don’t get it! So many kids are crying over here
but you only complain about me! If you can’t hear then go
and watch the movie on Netflix! Families come here
to watch movie! I came here with my family!
This child is my family! Look over there!
6-8 kids are having a meeting! That kid has a stinky diaper!
I can smell it from here! That one is crying!
That one has gone crazy! You won’t say a word
to any of them! You only complain about me!
– Sir… …if you have that
much problem… …the give me the child. I will stop him from crying
out there. – Kidnapper! I know people like you! You take my poor
child out there… …and then kidnap him! Get out of here! Or I’ll hit you with the child!
Get out of here! Darn scoundrels! Get lost! Shoo! My baby… Come on, man! Hurry up! Oh, man! The movie has started! Just because the movie
is for 3 does not mean… …that they should
start it at 3. We were only late
by five minutes. It’s only 3:05. – What?
We missed Jackie Shroff’s entrance! Only because of you and
your dead-end scooter! You fool! Come on!
Get the movie started again! You will get the movie
started again. Come on! Oh, thank God! The picture has not started.
Although, I’m late. ‘Presenting to you… …our new…’
– These darn Double Apple people… …are thieves and scoundrels. ‘Sir, do you have a cough?’ Oh, God! ‘Mutual funds are subject to…’ ‘…before investing.’ ‘Apply Syntax Balm!’ ‘Don’t itch your skin off!’ ‘After applying Fair & Lovely,
my boyfriend… …went blind looking at me.’ Hey, man! Will you end the ads
and start the movies already?! ‘What happened to this city?’ ‘There are riches somewhere
and other places people gamble.’ I don’t have ‘beedis’, man!
– ‘Beedi, tobacco… ‘I used to have
tobacco everyday.’ ‘Tobacco with roti and rice.’ ‘I also excreted tobacco.’ ‘Hello, aunt!’ ”Jassain from Four Pigs!’ 12, 13, 14… ‘Jassain is here to
clean our toilet!’ ‘Hot on target! Let’s go!’ 58, 59… …60! ‘Chikoo Sulfuric, not organic.’ ‘Chikoo Sulfuric Kamasutra Cream.’ ‘It gets rid of basil and neem.’ ‘It’s filled with natural drugs.’ ‘Chikoo Sulfuric Kamasutra Cream.’ Start the movie man! No, I’m not here for a movie! I’m here to watch ads!
They have shown 2000 ads till now. No, I’m thinking
of dropping out of… …engineering and
become an ad director. ‘Maira! Maira!’ ‘Maira! Maira!’ ‘Take it off, I don’t care.
Maira! Maira!’ ‘Good night, sweet dreams,
take care.’ I’ll go to the washroom. My grandchildren
must be missing me. Hey, man!
Start the movie already. Sir! Sir! Oh, darn! No! Oh, God!
– Hey, man! Careful! – “Louder!” That’s enough!
Enough for one day. Listen, friends!
If you like this video then… …like and come! Very bad!
No synchronization at all. “Louder!”

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  1. “Shabaab banke alsi kebab choosna hai”
    😂😂😂
    Please comment your favourite scene and dialogues
    And its a request please give some genuine comments
    I love reading your comments.

  2. The funny thing is ashish himself( his father) owns a cinema hall and have a business of it. Still he had made a spoof out of it.

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    We #Need 10 males 10 females For New office staffs in Karachi

    Looking For a #Young Boys/Girls for operation work Of karachi..

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  5. In childhood I say : Dekho Doraemon ki pocket😄😄
    After this video I say: Dekho Ashish bhai ka jacket 😂😂

  6. 😂😂😂क्या यार हद ही पार कर दी ऍड वाले सीन मे🤣🤣

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