Chocolate Cake Sandwiches – You Suck at Cooking (episode 102)

Chocolate Cake Sandwiches – You Suck at Cooking (episode 102)

To make cake sandwiches you got to start by making a chocolate cake loaf. Also known as a chocolate cakey loaf type thing. Which is a cake that looks like a loaf but tastes like a cake but looks like a cake loaf but tastes nothing like bread. So we’ll start by whipping up some homemade flour. *vvvvmmmm* We’ll take 1.5 cups of that and put it in a bowl. Then we’ll pour in 1 and a quarter cups of white sugar To create an idyllic white sand desert Then we’ll take 3/4 of a cup of unsweetened cocoa powder Which is now instantly sweetened from the beach Then we’ll need one teaspoon of baking soda That goes in the bowl Then we’ll take a teaspoon of fine sea salt or ground salt which is just sea salt that’s forgotten where it came from and we’ll put that in a shot glass and then sprinkle it into the bowl. We’ll scrape off a full cup of Wallnuts and Gravitron those into the bowl Then take a half cup of dark chocolate chips and just eat those cause they’re delicious then take a half cup of dark chocolate slab and Slam those through the bowl Then were gonna sift the dry ingredients together with a fork We do this to get more air into them We’re not trying to sift for— Ooh GOLD!! Wait a second that’s not real gold that’s pyrite also known as “dumbf*ck gold” [keys clacking] [ding] *evil chuckle* Sucker! Now we’ll take a fresh bowl and pour in one and a half cups of unsweetened vanilla almond milk Then we’ll squeeze in a half cup of fresh vegetable oil Then we use one teaspoon of pure vanilla extract You can use impure vanilla extract but keep in mind That impure extract is going to hell So it might contaminate your soul And we’ll take one teaspoon of apple cider vine— Woahp Alright And a quarter cup of raspberry jam [epic raspberry jam solo] Now we’re gonna whisk this all together till the oil is well combined If you want to do it at twice the speed and half the time, you can also use a set of WhiskChucks Now were gonna take the dry stuff and make a wet stuff receptacle Also known as a cake pit This divot is so that the wet ingredients feel more welcome by giving them a dry abrasive hug One last power whisk to get more air in there Then we’ll pour this stuff inside and this is the only time you will ever hear me say this: DO NOT WANGJANGLE [distant “Ouch!”] We’re gonna fold this until it’s just combined If you over-Wanglify it, it’s not going to be as fluffy But also this loaf is dense as f*ck, so whatever Now we’ll prepare the loaf pan with cooking spray which we probably should have already done If you don’t have any cooking spray, just take some unsalted butter and just smear it on the pan while going CHHHHHHHHHH (hot pan noise simulation) Now we’ll just pour that inside Oh also go back in time and preheat the Undoh to three fundoh [beep noises] And we’ll throw that inside for 65 to 75 minutes or around 40 Eurpoean minutes See this door? [Knocking] Keep it shut for at least 60-65 minutes before you check it Every time you check it, you increase the cooking time Imagine if the door to your room was an entire wall cracking open Know what I’m sayin? Yeah, you know what I’m sayin So now lets clean up. Or, just put everything in a bag and hide it under the sink. Hey, you know what this is? It’s a DONENESS THERMOMETER When this comes out clean, it’s done. If it’s not clean, it’s not done. Done. Not done. Done. Not done. Done. Not done. Over done. Not done. Even if it’s been two hours and your toothpick *DONENESS THERMOMETER* comes out with “stuff” sticking to it- Then guess what? Your Undoh’s broken. Done! Now, if you serve this as a straight-up “cake loaf” don’t forget to sprinkle eggshells around the perimeter so that non-vegans will know it’s safe for them to eat. But since we’ve got a loaf- let’s make sandwiches. Simply cut off a few slices of cake bread put in some vanilla frosting and BLAMO! Cake Sandwich. They’re great for tricking fussy kids into eating more cake By telling them it’s just “regular dark brown nut bread”. And if you’re making this for someone’s birthday don’t feel you have to do the cliche, Vertical Candle Thing™ If it’s an adult’s birthday, it’s way more respectful to use adult-sized candles. Also, you can serve the cake vertically. *probably shouldn’t* And then as the candles fall and start everything on fire you give the person who’s birthday it is a chance to save the day! Which is the most FANTASTIC birthday gift of all. *unless they don’t like dangerous fires* Happy Birthday to You! This video is sponsored by Hello Fresh® which makes cooking really good meals at home a reality even if you’re not super comfortable in the kitchen. But if you ARE comfortable in the kitchen, the 20+, weekly curated recipes can help you out of a rut if you wanna switch it up and learn something new. It’s flexible, so you can skip weeks if you need to. Or pick meals based on your food preferences- Ooh! Cheese-Millipedes! One thing I really like is the variety. I had this Peanut Stew, Ribs, and this Salmon all in the same week. And I’ve definitely never cooked such a wide variety of food in one week before. Because: I am lazy. Hello Fresh® is now from $5.66 per serving. Get started with 9 free meals- that’s $90 off your first month of Hello Fresh® including shipping. Go to and enter “YSAC9” That’s and enter “YSAC9” Thank you! Goodbye.

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  1. OMG putting the candles on the side is actually a super genius move to keep candle wax out of your birthday cake i cant believe i havent thought of it O_O

  2. This should be served as the coronation cake for The new king and queen of Canadian!! …perfect for pyrite diggers ..thanks .. you gave us all European minutes so we can all bake this as we celebrate ..with candles can also be used as a crown.. perfect in situations when you don't have a stash of shiny stones to use ..if you don't love this cake you must be xenophobic

  3. I had my birthday on 29th of december but I was wangjangled to a point of no reconciliation. So eh yea, thanks you remembered.

  4. Is there a place I can submit a recipe request? I’ve been trying my hand at fried pickles and want to see your take on it.

  5. I’m here watching this cause I think somebody broke into my house and I’m too scared to go look so I’ll just distract myself here instead🤪🤪🤪

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